is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
