Buhtt sex?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
