found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
