i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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