I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
