Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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