i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
