He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
