btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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