Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
