Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Bring me that man meat
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
