dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
