Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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