6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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