I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
