the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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