YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
