My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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