do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
