dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
