She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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