I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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