I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
