You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
only you would photoshop your dick
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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