you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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