I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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