question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
