can u get pink eye on your cock?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
