I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
