come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
