I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
