beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
