I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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