A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
