Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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