So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
