thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
