There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
