Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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