I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
