What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The best revenge is premature balding
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I supernannyed him into submission
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize