whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
