He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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