I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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