how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
