i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
