you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
