we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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