How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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