3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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