grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
